Starving Artist Ink.

Plastic surgery is in the books.

Decided that I am completely fed up with this space-so I am starting fresh, creating something new and beautiful and hopefully inspiring…  I guess I will include the archives-because, well, because there are some things written that I really love-but other than that, it just kinda feels like heavy baggage to drag into a beautiful clean space.

I'll just sweep it under the rug and forget about it I suppose.

La De Daaah. Getting out all the knives and antiseptic.

See you when we wake up!

I didn't sleep last night…

Since sleep wouldn't come to me, and the rest of the world was waking up-I decided to wait until the sun lit up the sky, and went for a walk…

The town was just yawning… houses settled in with smoke lifting from their frozen chimneys. Cars coated in thick white frost, grass crunching underfoot…

You'd have to look real close to find some colour-all shades of grey and white blanketing the sky, buildings, and ground… Nothing new about that, only this morning your breath hung in the air, nearly forming ice before it fell to your feet… Sharp icy air blown deep inside your chest.

e.darcy

I went straight for my normal place to walk through-the same place to take pictures-the same place that never changes except for the bits of trash drunks and teenagers have left behind. New graffiti on walls and cobblestones, new constellations of shattered glass, new plastic bottles swimming in the stream…

Passed by an old woman, with a scarf wrapped tightly around her head-most likely off to an early Mass. A man, bundled tightly-curious as to why I am braving the cold with my camera,  knees to the ground… carries on-brisk walk to get his blood circulating.

e.darcy

…I'm finding it hard to write here.

It's becoming pressure? no… it's… I don't know what it is. It isn't that I am not writing, because I am… with pen and ink, but also with type. I can throw some photos online and write my words about them….it just feels like I can't here? What is my point? What is my purpose?

I feel like it's clogged here. Old and dusty. I need something new and fresh and simple… simple. is my word of 2009.

Maybe I just need a fresh start-a new journal spine to crack…

I'll figure it out. I'll bring some colour back to this muted grey.

When I was little-we received the National Geographic magazine every month. And every month I would carefully turn the pages-looking at all of the pictures, from all over the world. I'd study the eyes of the girls in tribes far away from me… wondering how different my comfortable life was-to theirs… I saw pieces of the world that I probably will never see with my own eyes-whales swimming gracefully, Arctic peaks, Mongolian gypsies…

I had decided to become a photographer for National Geographic. I was going to be the one to travel across the globe, to remote locations…capturing the wisdom and stories in those little girls-who stared back at me from the magazine. I was going to climb the mountains and take pictures of the sun when it shows its first colours to the world, I was going to be the one to capture history as it unfolds…

I wanted, very much, what I aim to take photos of now–the emotion, the…reality, the secrets that we carry and show the world-but never tell. I want to always tell your story through my lens.

I'm always interested in checking out the latest of history making photographs-here are the ones for 2008 part one, part two, and part three.

What is so hard for me to understand, now, is how disconnected it seems-that photographers that capture this history can be. I just don't think that I could ever give myself permission to be able to take some of those photographs… I know how haunting it must be-to  these photo journalists-to live in dangerous places, to see terrible things day in and day out. They are simply trying to give a VOICE to what is happening-to show, as graphically, and raw to the rest of the modern world, who live so very comfortably–just what it can be like in other places in the world.  To educate, to spread understanding-or even to give another idea of beauty to our mind frame.

Some of the images make my stomach sick, others bring tears to my eyes… I am so very grateful to those photographers who can continue to raise their camera lens to capture what the rest of us cannot-and-couldn't stomach to see…

As I have gotten more comfortable with my camera, more confident with my art-I'm starting to push myself, to give myself permission to take the photos that beg me to capture. I'm pushing myself, this year-to tell those stories that I watch in the world around me. To capture some of the history of now… To be brave-because those stories told in remote tribes, on top of mountains, in the deepest seas-are all happening in my back yard too…

you've noticed it…haven't you?!…

my lack in…everything. my my, the cobwebs are awfully thick. the walls have been brown for months and months…

See, I had every good intention of switching my blog over into some fancy little thing–sparkly and new and crystal clean for the new year-I had the intention-and I just never did it-not yet!!! pfft.

I also have not picked up the camera to take any photos for the past few days… what, with the sun going down at unforgivable hours-I mean really sun, I am JUST getting out of bed when you decide to leave us for the evening. pfft to that!

So… I sit in the living room, with a blanket wrapped around me, fairy lights twinkling, candle burning… doing…nothing. when I really could be updating or blah blah-ing or… something.  I DID, however, manage to get the Christmas tree down and packed away-and strung up a new set of lights to keep it all lovely and cheery. I DID wash four loads of clothes! and I DID wash my hair…just…not the rest of my body.

The cold has crept into my bones-making this one a very lazy. very….boring. very empty? shell of a person.

What's this I hear about people making new years resolutions to actually DO STUFF? pfffffft!

much love. and snuggle time. and here's hoping that spring will sprung sprang SPRING-whatever already!

I am, for a limited time, offering FREE newborn sessions with the purchase of a maternity session. If you, or anyone you know is expecting a little babe in the near future-contact me and we'll get started! : )

Make sure to visit my portrait site!

Wish that I could be all dressed up, ready to go and dance, or drink, or just listen to music-and let this new years eve leave some impression on my memory…

e.darcy

too bad it'll just pass without much thought-like any other day. And we'll all wake up, and it will be a new year. Hmph.

Have fun for me!

{year 2008}

January- moving back to Ireland. A decision that at first-was confusing. It felt like two steps forward and one step back… in the end-it was one of the best decisions we made together. It turned out to be less stressful, and I began to realise that it’s about living… enjoying. Relaxing. Working to live, not living to work.  We lived with Sheila for the first months-until we got all of our papers situated and found a place to live. In her house… we made many memories.

February- The one thing that pops in my mind about February are the sheep… I’d watch the fields when we’d drive-green rolling hills spotted with white sheep. I’d wait and wait until I saw the babies-and that is when I knew it was spring. Tiny little lambs hopping around the place, chasing after their mothers. We went out to a farm and got to hold a baby lamb that had just been born that morning… I will never forget it.

March- March is the month that brings the showers-or-er…what month doesn’t? Our days were spent inside, watching the rain… doing our famous crossword puzzles.  That Easter I opened the carton of eggs-and found one, magical, white one. The only type of eggs you will find here are brown ones-I don’t even know why-but there, in that carton, the only time I have ever seen a white egg here.. The Easter bunny decorated it, and left it for the kids. : )

April- my nephew Wyatt was born… Every time the phone would ring, I’d jump-waiting to find out if it was him. Mom was able to be in the delivery room and called me right away-and let me listen to his first cries.  It was amazing…  That month was all of a sudden warmer, the rain let up, the sun stayed out for hours past bedtime, and the kids ran around and played with the hose…Memories of the back door being open, kids running around laughing.

May- In May, we moved into our very own-our very first place together! The summer was high and the air was just right, the may flies were in full force and our little place was just perfect. We went shopping for all of our little things and locked the door behind us at night-with a big smile. There is nothing like having your own place…

June- Steven turned 22 in June, the summer allergy season had captured me with both hands and didn’t really show much sign of letting up…

July- while others went on holidays to Spain, Steven and I stayed back-enjoying the summer weather in Ireland. Cool…but warm. Long nights… We spent a few rainy July days in Sheila’s-giggling and mesmerized by old family photographs… old memories.

August- I spent my time during the summer writing-filling up journals and journals. Writing words…sentences…scribbling pictures. August was also an important month for my photography-my business took a step up, and I launched a new website-dedicated to my clients-to my photography. A few friends found other friends…and so I met new people and captured some memories for them..  August was also very important to me, because I became part of a group of people, artists…who just fit together and feel like family. Friends who inspire me, push me, help me grow…

September -  Autumn started blowing in, leaves changing colours… I’d go for a quiet walk-letting the leaves rustle around me. Black berries growing full on the bush. Home baked goods from Sheila’s kitchen. Comfort food and toasty autumn fires.

October- I celebrated my 21^st birthday…a week later-my other Libra…Sheila, took a turn for the worst. It just happened, out of nowhere. One minute she was there-the next minute, she was gone-and there was no coming back. October is a sore spot, that when I think back on the year-all I can do is wrap everything around October… All the memories that we had in Sheila’s house-are all of a sudden so much more important. All of them so tender and reflect how much we loved her, how much she meant in our lives… Days kept passing… Halloween and trick-or-treaters. People going on about their business-while we were left with a hole in our hearts.

November- I had a ticket booked for myself to go home for the holidays. After the events in October, we  bought an extra ticket for Steven to come with me, neither one of us being able to leave each other.  The 3^rd was our second wedding anniversary-we were friends for six years, and married two…. November was packed full of things-of travelling-meeting Wyatt for the first time. Playing with Brandon. Bringing the boys home and spending two weeks with them.  November was also the election. The day that we landed would be the eve of election night-a buzz in the air, or maybe it was the tv-waiting to hear the results. I’ve never felt proud to be from whatever country—but to hear that Obama won…well…it just amazed me-that people came together and made the choice for change. It was soon thanksgiving, little boys went home, and in came the little girl-my niece, Lilly.

December- was cold… We came home to a very different Ireland. The heart and center of the family gone.. the days short-and dark. Things are bleak for everyone. Jobs are hard to come by, the streets are littered with puddles and ice. We were given a Christmas tree-and even though there were no presents to go under it, it really just raised our spirits to have a big, green, twinkling tree in our living room.

My new year’s resolutions aren’t about losing weight, aren’t about making promises I can’t keep… my new year’s resolutions are about what I want to have to reflect back on… A year full of beautiful memories. Because all I want out of life is a journey-full diaries and boxes with memories. Travelling, staying… making memories together, with Steven…forever.

Happy, and safe new year-to you…a full year ahead to start making your own beautiful memories.

Life is a journey. Write it. Make it. Jump on it-and let it take you wherever…

e.darcy

I love to people watch. I've said it before and I will say it again. I can sit for hours and hours watching people come and go… I can fall in love with strangers if only for a few moments… There have been more times than I can count that I have kicked myself for not having a camera with me–if only to try my best to capture a few of these people that I get so caught up with, mesmerized by…

I have been asked a few times how I get the photos without people noticing me, how I have the courage to take the photos of a stranger etc etc…

I'm going to be honest, and tell you that I don't have the confidence to ask, I barely have the courage to raise the camera to my face-and in that-there is the secret.

Are you a people watcher? Do great photo opportunities pass you up all the time? Do you ever say 'I wish I had my camera with me!'

I'm done with wishing I had my camera with me… I used to not bring it-simply because it is big, and expensive, and what if? WHAT IF?! well…I've gotten over it-because really? I NEED those photos, I can't not have them… Everywhere I look, I'm eyeing up something, framing it in my mind, already editing it to black and white, adding some grain, giving it something, or letting it be-perfect-as it is…

Let the lesson begin.

1. Blend in. - Stand around, by a wall, by a pole, by a tree…whatever, stand, sit, stay. Become part of your surroundings. Stand to the side in a large crowd of people, somewhere where a person might come to rest for a cig., wait for someone, look for directions etc… This way-when people walk past-they wont think you look anything out of the ordinary.

e.darcy

2. Keep it out. - Carry your camera always, all the time. I wrap the strap around my hand a few times and carry it in my hand, as if it is just an attachment to my body. I figure that this way-it's safe, and no one pays attention to it.

3. Lens. - This doesn't really matter as much if you just have a point-and-shoot camera, but for someone with a DSLR, keep the lens small-try a 50mm lens. Keeps the camera compact enough to not be in your face, or spy like… Looks very innocent.

4. From the hip. - Shoot from the hip. Practice… Hold your camera at your hip, your stomach, even your chest-and snap the photos without looking through the view finder. This takes some getting used to.. After you take a few snaps, check to make sure its in the right area, and try again. If you have to-bring the camera to your face for a few shoots and then leave it. Move on. You've already drawn a bit of attention to yourself.

e.darcy

5. Smile. - The subject you are shooting might notice you… Someone else around them might notice you. I've been caught-and I either get funny smiles, or looks as if I am crazy. Smile back-innocently. Shrug your shoulders. If you are ever confronted by the person you are shooting-compliment them.. Tell them that you just noticed them sitting there-and the light was so beautiful on their face-you couldn't help but take the photo. If you want, if it helps, show them the photo-give them your card, get their e-mail address so you can e-mail them their photo. (I have never ever had to do that… most times if I am caught, I smile-and move on.)

6. Use your judgement. - Be careful of the subjects you are taking photos of. I'm very wary of taking photos of children-there is no law that you can't-but I am just careful about it. Unless you have the courage to ask the parent(s) if they mind if you take a photo of their kid, or-say you DID take a photo, and it shows the childs face-mentioning something to the parent is always nice-and I'm sure they would love a copy of it as well. (OH! and if I am taking a photo of a busker, musician, beggar…whatever-I generally give them a bit of spare change-but this is just up to you-no one can make you pay for their photo.)

e.darcy

7. Know your rights. - This semi goes with using your judgement, but know where you can and cannot take photos. Photographers have a lot of give in the rule books-but don't step on anyone's toes. If someone says they would rather you not take their photo, move on. If you are asked to delete some-go ahead (unless you really want the confrontation-you DO have the rights to those photos, and by all means-can keep them!) *respect people's rights, privacy, and the rules of any buildings you enter. 

8. Keep it simple-and fun-and  move on. - Get your shots, quick quick quick. Don't stand around forever trying to get THE ONE. If you can't get the shot-keep moving with the crowd. The longer you take, the more you draw attention to  yourself.

e.darcy

Happy people watching!

–

*edited to add*

For anyone who wants some more advice, and encouragement on this– visit Shutter Sisters (this article especially).

My good luck wishes to you all!

I've collected myself a little pile of books to read, and have been devouring the delicious pages every night… some nights I can't put it down, until the sound of birds, and bells from the church tower- mark the morning…

I become invested in the characters. Once I close the book I'm constantly wondering what they are doing, what will happen next in their journey, my wishes and hopes for them filter through my dreams…

e.darcy

Last night I finished one of the books-and was ready to begin a new one, but I just can't… Not yet. I have to rest, I have to let the characters settle in my mind-so I won't be thinking about their journey anymore, so I won't begin a new chapter, of a new book, with the old ones in mind.

Le sigh.

Okay, I can't stand it anymore. Have to go crack open a new book. : )

In other news, the weather has been absolutely fabulous today! Oh god-it is wonderful. The sky is coloured with watercolour blues… the sun shining brightly, clouds hidden behind the hills… It was a crisp spring day-and I began it by cleaning. Scrubbing and dusting, washing and drying. Windows open-the smell of summer laundry and autumn fires wafting through the chilly fresh air. so wonderful. I can't wait until the sun stays with us a bit longer, late into the night-when the houses and the streets and the air comes alive.

From certain angles, I have the distinct features of my dad… A long slender nose, with nostrils to match… When looking up at me-my eyes are in the same sad shape of his.

Anyone who knows my mom-and sees me, believes me to be the spitting image of her. When I was young, I thought it was because I looked just like her-as I got older, I realised it was more because people saw the same qualities that she carries-in me.

When I look in the mirror, I don't see a mixture of the features from both sides of the family. I don't see that I look like my brother, or that my laugh can look like so-n-so's…

When I smile, or laugh-I can see what I looked like when I was 2 and 3 years old… I see a little baby, when my hair is pulled up away from my face.

It wasn't until last night, that when I twisted to look back at the mirror-did I see one of the features that only my mom has-that I never realised I carry as well…

Dimples… in my shoulders.

And there it was, plain as day-my mom.

—

She said that I never write anything lovely about her on my website, but what she doesn't realise is that it's hard for me to write those things-because it's like being exposed to a room full of people when you are at your most vulnerable. That when I think about the words to write-my throat gets all hot, the air thick, and my eyes blur with tears.

–

When I was young, I had the most terrible time sleeping away from home. I'd make it to when everyone else would fall asleep, and I'd lay there-staring at the ceiling, tears spilling at the sides of my face. Aching, for nothing else-but to be home, with moms back pressed firmly against mine, where I felt safe.

And so on these nights when I'd stay at my grandmother's cabin, mom would leave me with the shirt that she slept in the night before, her pillowcase, and a little metal coin with an angel carved into it.

But it still wasn't the warm, safe, of her back…

The back with the dimple on each shoulder, just like mine….