the transition from one to two has been a blissful surprise.
i wondered how claire would react to baby, to mama being completely consumed with a baby on her all the time. wondered how she would deal with me breastfeeding, would she want it again too? i wondered if i would mourn that she wouldn’t be my only anymore- mourning that only time with her. i wondered if i would have a chance to give new baby my complete attention and get to soak them up in the way that i got to with her
claire was incredible for the birth. i had the options available for her to be taken care of elsewhere if need be, but i really wanted her there- and she really wanted to be there. she was laid back and relaxed, sitting on the couch watching movies on my phone.. sharing popscicles with me and coming back and forth to the pool to see what was going on. excitedly exclaiming ‘baby! baby! it’s a baby!’ when jack was born. she was one of the witnesses to his first breath. and it really seemed to make the transition of pregnancy to baby so easy for her, like d’uh… she knew all along. this was the baby that she’d been kissing my belly for, and the one we had talked about for moons and moons… she knows more than i give her credit for, in her young, wise little two year old body.
when he whimpers or cries, she’s right there, trying to soothe him, talking to him…telling me, with her chubby sign language fist that he needs ‘ma’ milk.
she asks to hold him, and smothers him in kisses when she does.. she smothers him in kisses any chance she can get
she’s awfully proud of this little boy, her ‘baby jack’
ever so gently loving up on him, while bouncing around the place like a wild thing. she’s been so very good about knowing how to be easy with him, again.. because she is so wise, so true, so pure, so kind.
of course, with all transitions, there are little niggles to work out. and i have had to make sure that i pay attention to giving her cuddles and hugs and time. her relationship with her dad continues to blossom into them being the best of friends- which has allowed me the time to soak up jack as i had with her as a babe, and allows her to be fully cared for and played with. but she still needs time to check in with mama, on her own. body into mine. home
he just, so easily, so simply fits right in.
and i am desperately, hopelessly in love. staring at him any chance i get.
staring at my babies any chance i get. seeing them side by side. my beauties… her long, leaning body. her chubby hands and bruised shins.. her big feet and big features right next to his little curled up newborn self..
how could i have ever worried, when everything is just so.