Starving Artist Ink.

so let’s talk post-partum bodies.

i wasn’t exactly in shape before my pregnancy. so once i found out i was pregnant, i was determined to try to get myself in somewhat of a shape to help me-and babe stay healthy for the months ahead. and hopefully some stamina for labour. i started exercising every day- nothing rigorous, in my living room-getting my pulse going, some sweat on my back.
i weighed 180- not exactly where my resting weight should be. (pcos makes it a wee bit more difficult to lose weight. and extra weight can cause pcos to really influence your fertility)
*get yourself in shape before you get yourself a baby in there, okay? it will make the coming months a lot easier*

i gained a total of 30 pounds.

i’m now approaching three months post-partum. my belly has shrunk down to the size it was before (relatively). it’s squishy and soft and forms a delicious muffin top over my jeans. it feels just like my mom’s belly, which i think is kind of sweet…

i’m just now starting to get to a place where i feel like i should start devoting a bit of time each day to working off this extra handful of hips.. tighten this belly- and get back into my jeans so that way i can fasten them, sit down, AND breathe- all at the same time. imagine…

let’s talk about other things first… i read all about pregnancy and birth, i had a pretty good idea of how that would all go down- but post-partum? it was just one of those things that happens. the end.

so here’s what happens immediately afterwards-
you sweat, a lot. the first few weeks, i’d wake up drenched in sweat. i’d wake up from the sweat.
you pee, a lot.
you’re incredibly thirsty. (i had heard about incredible  hunger while breastfeeding. but for me- it was/is fierce thirst)
the post-partum bleed isn’t as heavy/bad as you think it will be. but still, sitting on a pad sucks.
i just now found this article- which brings more things back that i have already forgotten about.

post-partum- i had a second degree tear. i was never really that sore though- mostly what hurt was my back. oh.. my back hurt. i guess the mixture of weight shifting, engorged breasts, and that bloody epidural in my back. i definitely needed a bit of extra support. continuing to wear the beband after pregnancy really helped to hold the sagging weight of my post-partum belly, and fully support my back.

speaking of support- engorgement. bra straps dug into my shoulders, my shoulders and neck were incredibly sore. i started wearing a nursing sleep bra- the shoulders are wide, and it spreads all the way across your back- completely distributing the weight. so, so much better.
(i hate wearing bras.. never would wear them if i was at home, and only put one on if i had to leave the house… i didn’t realise that i would CONSTANTLY have to be wearing one- even to sleep.. but the weight of bare boobs unsupported will cause you to start leaking…)

i didn’t realise that my body would just be sore. mom and i would take a walk around the town, and if i had gone a bit too long without taking a pain killer- i’d start to break down in tears. because my body just hurt.  a hot pad on your back, someone to rub your shoulders… rest rest rest.

rest

at roughly three weeks post-partum… i took my first *look*. i was terrified. it looked different…my mom encouraged me to just call the nurse and ask her about it- so i did, and she reassured me over the phone.  at claire’s six week appointment i had the doctor look (i realise this is the norm. in most places… apparently not here). i was super nervous and super self-conscious.  thankfully she said everything healed well- but to take things slow. *cue madonna*

about that…i was afraid that i would never want my husband to touch me again. that’s all i had ever heard about from other women. fear not. it’s not always the case… i wanted him now more than ever, especially during the first two months- being close, cuddling in bed, kissing. finding intimacy in different ways. i felt like it was important to devote a little bit of attention to this. to us. the way he saw me, looked at me, touched me- made me feel amazing. i had just given birth, and he was treating me like a goddess, like i was gorgeous- and it certainly made me feel that way, instead of a big sweaty slob that i was…er. am.

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so now. at nearly three months post-partum, i’m feeling like i should start taking some control of my body. avoiding temptation of the sweet tooth, devoting some time each day to an exercise routine… getting creative in these cold, wet, winter months- bouncing around in my living room to try to shake the extra weight. i don’t have a scale… hmm, would having one make it more encouraging or depressing?
(i’ve taken a picture to start with.. so that way maybe i will see progress?)