Monthly Archives: February 2012

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february 28th, 2012

  • watching an irish version of bob ross, whispering to the trees that he paints. story telling in his delightful irish accent
  • made lemonade this morning. i don’t remember ever making real lemonade as a child, maybe just from the powder?
  • black birds against a grey sky
  • addicted to dark chocolate. a bitter taste that i would scrunch my nose at, i am now devouring and savouring.. and salivating just thinking about it.
  • new pants, a size smaller. again. i actually have no idea what size i could really wear, the idea of smaller and smaller pants seems ridiculous to me. i’ve never worn a size 8 in my life, so the idea of even trying a 6 seems ludicrous. wondering what size my body would be if i actually dieted and exercised, rather than living off of dark chocolate and breastfeeding.
  • waiting for a book in the post
  • looking forward to flying home this summer. not looking forward to leaving steven for a month..
  • listening to the washing machine churn my clothes
  • thinking about my GMIT application again. erg. quickly running out of time and need a nudge to actually get the application in for a part time space in their bachelor of art and design program. one day a week devoted to myself and my art sounds absolutely amazing.. and yet…. the application form is tripping me up and stopping me from doing anything about it.
  • marvelling at how very big my wee girl is these days.. how words are finding themselves in her mouth. seeing her mind work in piecing things together, mimicking us… discovering more of the fire in her personality
  • meeting up with a local mama, claire running wild with her girls. red cheeks and sweat dripping from her curls. grateful.
  • chili on the stove
  • noticing this pattern as my babe transitions into child… the patterns of how she needs me shifting, sleep..  the most notable, how there were weeks and months where she only would sleep on you, never to be put down. how there were weeks and months of wearing her to sleep only. how there were weeks and months of nursing to sleep… how now, you ask ‘are you ready for bed?’ met with a big nod and a little body shuffling across the floor to start making her way up the stairs to bed.. how she’ll nurse until she’ll full- and turn over to get comfortable before drifting off to sleep..  amazed, even though there’s no need for me to be- just simply being.. allowing her to transition on her own from infancy to child. to grow up and away on her own terms..
By edarcy | Posted in {daily} | Comments (3)

babywearing library – finding the right size

i’m sure people are rolling their eyes by now. i’m addicted to babywearing. i’m absolutely in love with my Ergobaby and would recommend it to anyone- in fact.. if someone were to ask what they need for their baby, i’d say just your boobs- and a GOOD carrier (like.. not a babybjorn. heh)..

anyway, claire is incredibly big for her age. she’s way above the scale for weight, and above average for height.. the ergo was increasingly growing smaller and smaller and getting more uncomfortable on me. i thought that maybe it was just the end of our babywearing days, that she’s too big to be worn without expecting some amount of discomfort. my hips were killing me after wearing her out and about- but i rely so heavily on the carrier, especially when we’re at home.. it helps for when she’s feeling clingy and i need to get something done.. if she’s upset, it ‘resets’ her mood and calms her down- and most of the time lulls her off to sleep. besides my breasts, it’s a major parenting tool- and has more than paid for itself with the amount that i use it. priceless really.

so, i was sad to think that that was it. until i found out that there are toddler and pre-school sized carriers. laaaaa!

i borrowed the kinderpack from a mama in dublin

and now i have the chance to check out a few carriers from the babywearing ireland sling library. this week, i got two, the huckepack toddler, and the kimimela wrap carrier

first up, the huckepack. i’m in love with it from the very start.. it feels just like an ergo, only bigger- coming up over claire’s shoulders (as it should) and allowing her to feel cocooned and cuddled in. immediately the weight is well distributed across my body and i feel like i can carry her forever comfortably. (it was getting to the point, in the ergo- that five minutes was killing my shoulders)
there’s more bits to adjust on this carrier- which seems like it would grow well for a child growing taller, or for the wearer- to allow mama or papa to use it easily.
the first time i put her in this carrier, she cuddled right in, got her ‘ma’ out- and nursed to sleep. magic..
now i just need to save up some money to get one!

next, the kimimela carrier

so, i’m in love with this carrier too.. i just wish that i would have had it when claire was lighter (this girl weighs 47 pounds)
i fits so comfortably, and is made so beautifully- i love the style, i love how it ties.. it feels secure and allows you to adjust the tie to hide any muffin top that other carriers seem to enhance.
i definitely want one of these for my next babe. and again, when i put claire in it- she cuddled up, nursed- and went right to sleep..
tying it on, for me- was almost instinctual.. i didn’t look  up any guides- since i was well used to tying a woven wrap from when claire was a newborn.

what is your favourite carrier? have you ever thought to check out some slings from a babywearing library? it’s kind of brilliant.. all i paid for was shipping, and i get to test them out for a few weeks before sending them back on for another mama to try out. i love that..

By edarcy | Posted in motherhood, {daily} | Tagged | Comments (7)

february 17th, 2012

. brewing some tea.

. listening to sigur-ros

. grey clouds moving heavily across the sky

. closing my eyes while listening to a friend’s recorded voice.. her poetry sailing me off.. soaring into a childhood’s imagination..fairytale. her voice like soft powdered sugar, so sweet and delicate.

. day dreaming about a road trip to the cliffs. with wellies on and wild sheep.. the wind in my hair, whipping my cheeks red.. sandwiches on crusty bread, hands held.

. thinking about what it is i will leave behind.. what stories will be told, what memories will be held. thinking of sheila (steven’s gran) and her skin, her soft hands rubbing together without thought. her little habits, the sound of her weight sighing on the banister as she’d walk down the stairs in her bathrobe.

. savouring the taste of a rare oreo on my tongue.. ah-ha.. that’s the taste, like a burnt roasted marshmallow.. how did i never discover that before?

isn’t life so fucking beautiful? i mean really… these simple mundane tasks..

By edarcy | Posted in {daily} | Comments (4)

blood mysteries

the sharp contrast of red, so sudden and stark
blood and all it’s meanings..

there was the blood lettings and innocence. the naivety. inconvenience and embarrassing
womanhood staining my underthings. tricks of the trade and secrets passed from woman to woman.
the silent knowing between mother and daughter, as she takes away the clothes with ease, to go soak and wash. unashamed, folding a towel that night to slip between body and mattress. just one of those things. unspoken and understood.
once a month, a sink full of soaking cotton. rust waters. gentle care.

then there was the blood lettings and tears. the proof that life had yet to nestle itself in my womb, another month barren.
curled on the bed, clutching an aching stomach- and an even bigger ache, my heart
the blood of life met with disgust and salty tears.
impossible to find ways around honouring that delicate dance- when it flows from between  your thighs with a force to remind you, often. there is no baby this month.

there are the dreams. a sacred text scrawled in the very fibre of each woman… dreams of rivers of blood, the impending arrival of a moon, the beginnings of an end. the life force with a kiss of death. powerful medicine, that…

then, there was the gush of blood, the impending arrival. the whoosh of salty womb waters down which your babe arrives- veiled, crowned, and blessed in the blood. christened in deep crimson rivers. the final offerings of life within, through a cord tethered to mama.. released.

rest.
as soothing milky white nourishment flows from the breast. thoughts so far from rich blood and aching womb. cradled, in our arms instead- life.

it quakes.. after a certain time. the rumblings of earth, the fire in the belly. the offerings. silent wombs like winter, dormant- waiting the arrival of spring.

sanguine.

the moon hung just right in the sky, a first quarter moon- in perfect harmony to complete the last quarter moon my babe was born… ripened and waiting..
this time, completely new… hormones swirling so heavy, fiery female energy of two coursing through my body- needed different ways. hers, and mine..
the build up intense
sepia melting on the tongue
the offering of spring in a single daffodil sprouted
the offering of a fertile womb in a single drop of blood
a vessel of possibility

this blood was so powerful, and i wanted to honour it without knowing how.. or exactly why.
meditating, with my feet solid on the earth, my knees the same height as my shoulders.. feeling the ache of my back melt between my thighs
admiring the beauty in this that is often looked over. this wonder and amazement.. this creation within a woman..
washing my knickers with intention and care, as if receiving a gift.. and taking my time to fully appreciate every aspect of it.

awakening
to the mystery that unfolds within
shared with sisters before us.. in red tents and feet stained with the clay of the red earth.
honoured and cared for
as the vessel of life.

By edarcy | Posted in motherhood | Comments (6)

february 2nd, 2012

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february 1st, 2012

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