Starving Artist Ink.

being a mama on the go is completely new to me.
at home, we’re normally home all day and just take walks around our little town. we don’t have a car and places are within walking distances- sometimes i wear claire, sometimes she walks, other times i bring a little stroller- but we’re never that far from the house.

it’s been a completely different experience here, and i’m kind of awful at it. i am sure that i look like a mess when out and about. i’m not used to packing a bag of tricks to bring, snacks and toys- i normally would leave the house without anything. each outing here i’m thinking ‘aaaagh! d’uh! why didn’t i bring this or that’

here, i am the mama sitting down on the floor in the middle of a store to nurse claire, in a way to entertain and distract her from having a tantrum.  i’m in my own little survival mode, with blinders on- and i have no idea if anyone even notices us, and i guess mostly i don’t care. i nurse over the top and haven’t considered if it’s okay with people or not.

i’m the mama carrying a child on my hip that has her hands down my top, trying to pull my boobs out because she wants a sup so bad.

i am the mama with the toddler without shoes, that i am struggling to carry because she wants down so bad

i am the mama with the child running around the place- smiling and waving and talking to everyone

i’m learning how to power shop, er.. but i’m not good at it- i am not good for shopping to begin with, and having a toddler to keep happy while you’re trying on clothes doesn’t make it any more fun.  i’m the mama spinning around in circles in the dressing room, singing and dancing and trying to entertain a crying baby as i get dressed.. shopping has never been so exhausting.

everyone we have met has been so lovely and gracious though.

we’ve been having fun. spending way too much money on clothes, getting treats, experiencing new things. i keep forgetting to bring my camera with me, because it’s just one more thing to keep up with.
i’m awful at thinking of words to tap out here
mostly…we’re just here. enjoying.

tales from the sky – version one (because it’s only the first leg of our journey, and there’s certain to be an adventure on the way home)

. we woke at 3:40, after just a few hours of sleep for the both of us
. we were picked up by my MIL to drive us 30 minutes to the city, where we said our goodbyes and got on the bus
. tearful and a bit unsettled, and then 15 minutes in the bus journey she threw up all over herself and me. heh
. i took off her clothes and she stayed there in a nappy and socks for pretty much the whole journey. 3 hours.
. about an hour to the airport she fell asleep, and i managed to get her into the carrier to get off the bus
. met by a kind woman, who recognized me by wearing claire ‘do you know ina may?’  uhm YES! so we got talking and i said how i had wanted to go to the home birth conference in dublin, but i lived too far away to travel both ways. she let me know that she just dropped ina off at the airport and that she would be on the same flight as me!
. then it took over an hour to check me in, because there was some mix up with airlines about my ticket. oi vey.
. rushing to our gate, as it was already boarding.. oh. but i have to stop at the bathroom… aah
. i got a glimpse of ina may and her husband boarding
. saw where she was sitting, and as i was looking for my seat.. further and further and. aaah. completely at the back of the plane. drats!
. sat with a woman and her 2 year old twins.
. i was THAT mama with the crying baby. screaming baby. frustrated stewardess rudely asking ‘DO YOU HAVE A BOTTLE?!’ to which i answered ‘uhm no. i’m breastfeeding and i’m trying here, she’s tired’   finaaaally she slept. phew
. i sat there thinking about what i could say to ina may… going through my head of how i was going to say it, and how i didn’t want to be rude and bother her while she was travelling- but that i HAD to say something. once in a life time opportunity, how could i be so lucky to be on board with her- and no one else there would recognize her. so then she got up and started coming to the back of the plane for something else- i made eye contact and smiled, she smiled at me, and then turned back around- and i shook her hand and told her how beautiful she was on the tv interview the other day, how wonderful it was to have her in ireland, how happy i was to meet her and yadda yadda blah blah. i was all nerves, shaking, giddy, in love. she thanked me and smiled and was so lovely. and then went back to her seat. i sat there shaking for a while afterwards, unable to breathe. hahaha! the woman beside me had no idea who that might have been, but reassured me that i didn’t sound like an idiot. hee
. the turbulence was incredible, dropping out of the sky and bums coming out of the seat. like a roller coaster, delightful
. bleeding like a motherfuck. bled all over my vomit dried pants. heh. the joys of travelling as a mama right?! taking a baby in the tiny airplane toilet, trying to clean yourself up.
. finally landed in atlanta, got ourselves all changed in new clothes again. ran around the airport for a while, and then boarded a tiny little plane for the last leg of the journey
. thankful for the man that sat next to me that entertained claire through her screaming and crying again. it wasn’t so much the ear thing- as she was just scared of all the sounds and feelings of the plane taking off and descending again.
. and THEN! we arrived. whew! exhausted
. mama, papa, one of my best friends and her daughter there to greet us
. aaand then we rest. got home. took a shower, ate some food, and slept. sweaty and sticky and hot here.

an adventure to be sure. heh. thankful to be on the ground for a while

in preparation for our journey.. stuck in a metal missile in the air-
i went to the shop and bought a chalkboard/magnetic board/dry erase board in one. it came with some chalk, a dry erase marker, and magnetic letters.
i bought some oily crayons- that are probably a bad idea in hindsight, maybe i won’t bring them. i thought that they were twistable crayons but are more like oil pastel twistables. lovely all the same.
i made her her own little sketchbook.. but it may turn into a little diary for me to write in about her trip to oklahoma and arizona. (hahaha i think there’s a song about that, right? Three Dog Night? heh)

and i’ll be making some homemade playdough

i’ll bring one of her favourite babies.. but oh, what one to choose?

and i am sure that she won’t really play with any of them. that she’ll just nurse and entertain other people.. rip apart magazines and hopefully nap.

i’ve already packed some rescue remedy for myself, airports are always such a stressful thing for me..
and have some teetha tablets for the wee girl to soothe her ever growing collection of pearly whites.

i know that the flight is going to be totally okay. that it will be smooth sailing, and that myself and claire will be just fine. it went better than i ever expected when i last flew on my own with her when she was 10 months, and now, 10 months later- though she’s an entirely different animal (hee) it will be great. and my heart is bursting full knowing that i have so many people in the world that love us, and i can’t wait to share claire with them..