Starving Artist Ink.

shit.

you know, i hear that some bloggers never ever go back and read what they wrote? guess what… they know what's good for them.

mmm erin, you're so cool.

so here's what's up.

1. there is a dead spider on the wall in our bathroom. he was giant- he was sitting there waiting when we returned from the states. i screamed calmly told steven to come and dispose of the beast… he fought a hard battle in there, but it ended quickly- he said that the spider crawled into a hole and we'd have to wait for him to come out….
guess what?
that was like.. three weeks ago? that wasn't a hole. it just looks like it. it's its giant body- with its legs dangling out.. that make it appear to be a spider hiding in a hole with its legs hanging out.

2. girl crushes. oh woah… they are like the best and worst type of crushes to have. 'does she like me as much as i like her? what if i tell her i like her and she doesn't like me as much? what if she finds out what i am really like and then changes her mind?' oh woe is meeee….  play it cool erin. you idiot..

i was not cut out for dating.

3. i figured it out. i am a fucking genius. i realised what i do. why this cycle continues to loop over and over. i'm feeling goooood la la laa oh i'm so positive, baby shit? i don't even care about that- laaaa… and then suddenly i'm all dark and depressed and clawing at myself and everyone?  well, besides hormones… er..

- let it go every.day – i notice that i'm all good and positive and thinking wonderful yummy fluffy thoughts for my womb and the baby that will grow there. and then randomly a thought will fly in there that wasn't supposed to be. some shitty ugly negative doubt. and i'll swat it away- but it'll still be there. floating around somewhere.   and every day this will happen.  until soon enough it's all just building up. and i'm getting more heavy and sluggish and bitchy.

and then i burst out crying because i'm never gonna have a baaaaaybeeeee

and i tell the whole world. and they listen and shake their heads and hold me and pat my hair

and then i'm better.

…because i emotionally threw up all over you.

i'm going to try not to do that as often. bear with me. (i never know if it's bear or bare… affect/effect… i could go on and on)

4. note to self. i want to learn to be more witty. especially through type. this just reverts back to girl crush. sigh…