e.darcy
I believe in mermaids…
e.darcy
I respect other people's religions… I understand their need for belief in something. It all goes back to the beginning of time-for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. We need answers, for the past, and for the future. We just can't sleep well without knowing.
Truth is… I can. I've written about it before…
My confession, for Sunday-how fitting is this –I feel uncomfortable going into Christian churches/sacred places. I feel like I don't belong and the walls know this… I don't mind going-in fact, I'm intrigued…I want to go inside and explore, witness all of the dedication, the devotion, the love people put into these places. Their shrines, their candles, their books of song. I've said it before-that I love the traditions held in churches I grew up in, probably the only reason I attended. The feeling of warmth and kindness from people, even though we were all strangers.
But the daunting wooden doors keep me on the outside.
So I walk through their grave yards, and touch headstones that were carved over 100 years ago. I pay attention to the graves with care-and to those who were forgotten…
I don't dare go inside those doors though-there's no place in there for me.
I'm better off in the yards with the dead-they have the answers, and they are closer to my god than any…
e.darcy
I haven't picked my camera up for days… It feels like forever, when in fact the last time I acutally used her for proper photo taking was Thursday. She's been neglected, and I am feeling that.
I'm normally very confident. Or–well so it appears. I'm dead set on being who I am without conforming to others ideas of how I should be-I stand up for my beliefs even if that leaves me the only one standing… I speak up to declare the injustices, to shout out truths, to try to motivate people to THINK for themselves. I wish so much that people would question what they do-and why… To give reason and answer… I'm passionate about so many things in life-and will debate to the core for you to know this.
But the other side of me is insecure and shy. Unsure of myself, confidence–non-existent. Walking past a group of girls, I instantly clam up- occasionally, a walk past the same girls-I'd give them so much attitude and presence that they'd step aside to let me past. I have a voice-but sometimes that voice is just barely above a whisper.
My confession is that I am two sides of a front-I'm confident and outgoing, shy and reserved. Both of them very much who I am-both of them showing their faces… And to be honest, I like both of them–but the shy one needs more confidence, and the outgoing one needs to listen more.
In bid for confidence, for experience, for inspiration–the shy girl walked the streets in Galway City yesterday… and guess what? I lived to tell the tale! Normal hustle and bustle of people, beautiful colours of culture coming together-swimming with artists and their work, buskers playing heavenly music… I missed the bus on purpose-and then missed the second bus!
I was going to make my confession earlier–but what I wrote just didn't come out right, and I deleted it. I'm keeping it for another time.
My confession for today, is that I am so very hard on myself.
I've gotten myself worked up over something I didn't have control over-or thought I couldn't control. The photoshoot yesterday, god-I love the little family, so laid back, down to earth-super super sweet. And there I was, failing to get the shots that I wanted to create for them. It made my stomach sick last night, filled with guilt and self consciousness. The things that we love, the things that we care about, our passions–sometimes a hard pill to swallow when you start to question what the hell you are doing.
I've been replaying it over and over in my head. Second guessing myself and just being a Debbie Downer.
Waaah-wuuuuh…
Thought I'd try something new, yet again… It's called Sunday Confessions. A time to spill the beans on things we've done, weird things we do, and secrets we keep…
e.darcy
Sometimes I get lazy and only shave one leg.
What's your Sunday confession?
