Starving Artist Ink.

1. flavored, 2. on every front. at every moment., 3. double vision : 323.365 gratitude, 4. somewhere very similar, 5. Elisabeth Perotin, 6. i like leaves. , 7. Walla Walla Farmer’s Market, 8. girl, 9. autumn is here

- i haven’t picked up the camera.
- i baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.
- i held a sweet baby boy in my arms while he fell asleep.
- i found an artist/musician that i like.
- i painted one of my fingernails.
- i wore pajamas all day.
- i had dreams that frightened me, and dreams that comforted me.
- i bought a ticket to see a friend. la la laaa
- i’ve been inspired by the change in season-just trying to figure out how to..what’s the word? sigh. i don’t know. embrace, capture, ehm…
- i began another month on this journey, one foot in front of the other.
- i procrastinated like a professional.

is it tuesday? this doesn’t even make any sense. ha! i just wanted a reason to share those yummy pictures above. a little inspiration board.

i had read about a challenge before… maybe it wasn’t a challenge, just a way in the door to get you started on writing again, getting creative juices flowing.

the challenge was write. whatever is in your mind, for 5-10 minutes straight, without putting down the pen, without stopping to think.without considering if it makes sense.

i had always tried… but the blinking line on the screen mocked me. no words would come….

and so today, the clouds parted and the blue sky dotted with playful white clouds… i packed my bag with my camera, journal, and pencil. a short walk to the lake to sit and breathe…

here is my non-stop babbling…

sitting on a moss encrusted bench. worn down by lashing wind, rain, life.
a warm sun blanketing the top of my head, and a gentle whisper in the wind of change in the season across my back…
my feet sink into the marshy grass,
the lake so full and heavily pregnant-water lapping at the high tide.
a man in his boat, solitary, silent, making one with the water,
crawls his way across… a voyage.

i was seeking inspiration,
thinking that there was none to be found in these moments-in these days.
when all it takes is a minute, to notice the unique moments that are happening around you.
wishes blown in the wind.

spiders weaving webs

grey swans who have matured into teenagers, their down feathers slowly turning mature and white.
the silence, and music of life surrounding…
a deep breath, felt all the way down into my toes…
a machine hums in the distance, cars passing even further…
conversations overheard by business suits, stretching their legs, getting some air. soaking up this rare autumn blue.

writing words as they come, without thought. a child’s flip flip flip of their shoes, squawking and squealing as their mother chides on…

two older women, lost. deep in conversation.
their companionship strong and sacred.

faces turn to meet the sky.

as i packed up my bag and started to head home… i started to focus more on the small stories unfolding around me. little school children in their uniforms-free from the day of school, playing at the park, their mothers bringing them into the local bakery to pick out a cookie…

noticing the dad and his daughter, feeding the ducks. his mobile rings and he answers with a soft voice, his wife, partner, lover…

give it a try… it’s amazing how quickly it opens things up. changes your perspective.

-xo.

i love making these lists.. every now and then, noting down what is inspiring you lately, what you are loving lately. it’s just a really easy, lovely way to lift yourself up-feel full and hopeful and inspired.

here’s what has been inspiring me lately-

Untitled, 2. breathe:exhale, 3. Untitled, 4. splendid morning, 5. Untitled, 6. Itch To Fly, 7. {vintage}, 8. Untitled, 9. it was worth the effort

all of those photos just feel so…at peace. calm. rich. they feel like the fires of autumn. the memories of a late summers evening.

this video. the artwork is absolutely beautiful-and plays so well with the song…  it inspired a little story and characters that have suddenly sprouted in my head, who i am trying to bring to life…

jennifer rickard. she is not only a beautiful friend of mine, who i feel lucky to know- but her work is such an inspiration to me… for how soft, how deep, how rich her emotional connection with every photograph pulls through… every single photo is carefully choreographed with nothing but feeling, to capture the essence of the whole…everything. she has a power, an intense art…and she’s incredibly humble and sweet, which makes it all the more better.

my up coming trip to stay with cass, and meet her sweet little family…explore her home… i am so absolutely excited to experience it all. soak up the sights and scents and.. sigh…. i’m afraid that i’ll fall in love with it-and won’t be happy until we move there…

those little sweets… oh how i miss them. that’s wyatt, brandon, and lilly. (i’ve yet to meet mr. parker yet. sigh) i think about them every day, but if i think about how fast they are growing up-out of my sight, for too much.. thinking about all that i am missing out on-it just makes me sad. (note to their parents. videos and photos please…. like i should have to ask!)

i am SO absolutely inspired by this girl. my best friend, susie… i am always in awe of her- how strong, smart, capable she is. i just know that she will do great and amazing things in the world, she already has-but… i know that one day-people will know her name, she’ll be ahead of the rest… she’ll be up there.  right now, i am so inspired by her new adventure. the courage it will take for her to leave home-get on a plane, and travel to a world that she’s never been. sure-it’s not THAT crazy of a big deal, no third world countries (yet). but it’s an entirely new experience for her… going somewhere where she doesn’t know anyone. and it thrills me to no end-to know that she’s getting out there. that she’s beginning. that she’s growing wings. i want her to take over the world. ;-p and.. and and… i get to see her. and take another picture just like the one above. love her. she’s so beautiful, absolutely inside and out.

what has inspired you lately?

i know you get that.. i know that you understand how full and overwhelming it can all feel, like you’re being taken over and merely a vessel… and then suddenly empty.. the bottom of the sea and dry bones.. craving for a drop of water just to know what it feels like again to have a wet tongue.

…it always seems that once you put it out there, digging your toes in the sand… that finally the tide comes in, lapping at your ankles until the current sweeps you under-in the most beautiful and welcoming of ways.

the creative waves are some of the weirdest…

they hit you with power, and take over.  you realise that you have been sitting there for five hours working on something, wondering where the time has gone. you all of a sudden notice that noise from your stomach is hunger, because you haven’t been eating. and then your eyes adjust to the dark-and you realise that the sun left hours and hours ago. (no wonder all artists that we learn about are crazy…)

and just as quickly as the waves crashed in, they are pulled back out again…

and you readjust to a proper sleeping pattern…

i wrote about how i hadn’t picked up my camera, or pencil…or brush. and wasn’t able to write. but this time, i was totally fine with it.

in the past i’d get so much anxiety-afraid that once it was gone, it was going to be gone for good… i was riding on a good wave, and suddenly it was swept out from under my feet.

but this time, i knew that just as quickly as it leaves, it always comes back.

so i picked up the needle and thread… inspired by melissa, we were to embroider together and share what we created. hers makes me drool so much… so inspiring and refreshing.

and then last night, after talking to a friend. (who i am SO excited about, because she’s starting to draw again.. and it just thrills me to see her excited about that) i picked up the pencil and it all just poured out of me until late into the night.

i always love seeing the process that other artists go through, whether that’s before and after photos of post-processing and raw photographs, a set up of how you got the photograph, a… whatever. before and after. it’s wonderful and inspiring.

so i thought i would share.

i draw my basic shape in pencil.

i let my fingers flow with the pencil… it seems that every paper has it’s own lines waiting to be discovered…

i know that if my hand glides on it’s own-that i’m fine… relaxed. ready.

because if i am trying too hard, it’s all short. jabby. wrong. i know that nothing good will come out of it. so it’s just not my time.

last night i was getting so excited because they were turning out to be these GORGEOUS shapes… i loved them so much. and i was so scared i’d mess them up…

so- after drawing the shapes in pencil, i go over the outline with watercolour pencils.

these are AMAZING for anyone who loves watercolour, but needs a bit of control over it. people who can’t let go. ;-p or.. okay. people who are just working with some detail. either way. i love love love them. cheap ones will do just fine!

and then some things just don’t turn out how i originally wanted…

and that’s sometimes good, and sometimes bad.

the one above– i really REALLY loved her before

but after, meh.. i kinda love her.

mmmm i LOVE… so many beautiful lines.

i had a different image in mind for her hair, but was scared to touch it-so i left her for a bit… and then decided at the end that she was perfect how she was.

love when that happens.

this was the first time that i have ever done paintings in a two day process.

i was letting my fear control it. because i was just too excited about how they were coming out. i wanted to make sure i gave it some time. and get some pictures before i completely ruined them. ha! (but i wouldn’t advise you on the fear thing. blah. it normally throws up in your face. just relax.. and go with it all. push through the night if you have to. ride that wave while you have it!)

i paint the skin first-as you can see… after that dries, i go for the hair.

the eyes are always difficult for me, i sometimes wait for a while to decide if they will be open or closed.

it depends on how difficult they will be to base my decision.

some people really really try to get things perfect, doing it over and over again.

i simply… ignore it.

my girls first started out as busts. headless, armless.

curves of their breasts and hips.

slowly they were given heads. but not faces.

i adore the simplicity, and sometimes it speaks so much louder.

and then faces started to appear

as well as arms.

it’s a process.

and i beg you to try. to not worry about getting it perfect.

to stop erasing so many times and just go with what feels RIGHT.

over time, it will bend and curve and find it’s place.

your style will flow through.