‘Today there is a new moon.
Everything in life flows and moves with the rhythm of the moon.
She rules the water element of life on earth.; the fluids in plants, the female reproductive cycle, the oceans and weather.
She influences the energy patterns of the earth, the mood of mind, body, behavior and our emotions.
Know that we are deeply connected and influenced by the natural lunar rhythms.’
like.. woah. the intense feeling of uncertainty and overwhelmingness that i felt each new moon while pregnant. i haven’t felt that with the moon until now.
feeling… high and lost and so much energy, mind running a million thoughts and ideas all at once. feeling like i’m too late. like i missed the chance, like i’m not good enough anyway.
waiting for claire to nap so i can try to harness some of that energy into sketching towards all of this.
seeing a circle happening. seeing myself expanding and creating a space to nourish something big. of finding the circle of women in the flesh that i crave.
do you ever feel like there’s not enough time? like- i constantly feel like my life is going by so fast and there’s so much i want to do- but i’m running out of time (i know i know i know that’s so dumb) but it’s also true..
i want to do everything. i want to have a million lives so in each one- i can do everything i want.
i’m too lazy to do everything that i want. i’m much happier to stay at home in my pajamas, instead of running around being busy.
i want to learn everything.
i get too overwhelmed too quickly.
i want to make my own medicine
i don’t believe in my hand to really create medicine.
i want to be an amazing artist and not give a damn about anyone else and their art. to never compare myself because i’m so damn confident in my own.
i want to know all about the plants around me
i want to have a wee farm of lambing ewe’s and hens and horse.
i want to have BABIES
i want to attend births. and then i want to spoil the mamas and make them feel special and loved.
i want to give everyone everything.
i want to have my own shed to paint in
i want to watch my girl grow- and i want to give her the world…
i want to wear clothes that make me feel awesome
i want to write a book or two. but really i just want to illustrate them.
and i want to be the go-to artist for birth communities around the world.
and then i got a reply back. oooh the electric energy. flutters in my belly. trying to see if i can find 3-4 more women who are interested in doula training on this side of the country, that i’ll possibly host it right here, in my living room.. with my babe crawling at our feet.
a circle happening…
in two weeks time i will be waking up in a little cottage on the beach. i’ll be able to get up and stretch and put claire on my hip, walking down to the water, the gulfs warm breath on my face. i’ll be able to hold hands with my mama and soak up three generations of girls, our own ya-ya. right there. under the sun and moon at the same time.