i struggle between being a creator and a business woman.
when i was younger, i wanted to go to an art school. i never had intentions or ideas of making a career out of creating, because it just didn't seem feasible. i only wanted to go for myself, for my passion.
i ended up not going-it was either a summer in RISD or a chance at life with my husband-knowing that art school is always available.
and here i am, with my husband… making art. and making a bit of money out of it.
first, i have to say-that it is such an amazing feeling, knowing that your work is hanging in someone else's house. and not just friends and families houses, but strangers and people who call themselves fans-who live near and far. paintings that they ask for, for their children… knowing that my work will be part of a memory in their lives. something they connect with. it's such a powerful and overwhelming feeling.
so what's the problem?
oh dear… the business part.
the setting value and worth to yourself as an artist, marketing a business out of your creations. setting your passionate and emotional state to the side. to talk business and money, to talk opportunities. to hold the sparkly eyes of excitement from a potential client-and hope to god that you won't hit a dry spell, that you can still give them what they want-and better than they imagine.
i'm a yes person. i like to appease and make people happy. i like to give myself and go to no end to make sure that you're happy, enjoying whatever, comfortable.
i struggle with my self worth and value.
i struggle with capping my emotions when it comes into business relationships. how do you draw the fine line?
i struggle with expectations and overwhelming anxiety. fears of failure-of letting someone down. of not getting it just right. of not being as good as they had hoped and imagined.
i'm trying to learn to keep my blinders on. to pick and choose words that work, and let the rest fall away until i'm ready for them…
how do you find balance in what you do?
2 Comments
It's not easy. it's a learnt skill I think. At first I was very much a yes person too, "oh of course I can do that", "yes no problem I'll change that". Then I realised i was doing nobody any favours especially myself. If this is how you're to make a living, learning to say no is critical. I have found that clients respect me more now that I am 100% certain on the way things are and run. Of course I do have a degree of flexibility, you have to have that it's only fair but i don't let people take a mile when I give an inch, there's no point in being in business if I do, it wouldn't be worth my while.
You'll get it. You'll learn it. It does take time, but when you get there you'll be thrilled skinny and oozing confindence in yourself, your work and in your clients.
i don't know! i am going through the same thing. actually, just yesterday i made a couple contacts in tulsa for possibly selling some stuff. when we were driving home i was flipping out inside!
"what if they hate my stuff and they don't want me? what if my stuff sucks and no one buys it?! agh!!!"
i've come a long way in my confidence…and its the only reason i actually had the guts to ask someone about selling my stuff, i couldn't have done that a year ago! but i have soooo far to go. i guess i'm working hardest on making sure i do what I love, and present what I want to instead of what i think people want to see. the right people will be receptive. at least i hope!