Starving Artist Ink.

brownies are my vice.

oh those evil chocolate better-than-cake squares that hug you, and kiss you, and make all right in the world.

amen.

anyway. so brownies. i’m used to making them out of the box, add oil and water- and viola!

then, there was an even BETTER invention. pillsbury came out with brownies in a tube that you just…squezz (pronounce it that way. it’s fun) into the pan, smooth out and bake.

well… we just don’t have that fancy devil worshipping pillsbury brownie stuff here. and while you CAN get a box of brownie mix, it is pretttty expensive-AND you have to add eggs.

so i decided i wanted to try to make my own.

these aren’t just right yet, maybe i over cooked them.. maybe i should follow the directions properly. needless to say, they were DELICIOUS. scrumptious. little pieces of heaven, endorsed by the devil. and they fit so nice and cute up on my hips. it will come back in fashion one day…

here’s how i do it

okay, so that is what i SHOULD have done… had i had all of the ingredients. but why would i? why would i think about preparing this BEFORE i did my shop. baah. pish posh!

for the 5 ounces of semisweet, or bittersweet chocolate chips– i chopped half a bar of hersheys dark chocolate.

don’t scream at me. i know it isn’t what the rule books are calling for. but it’s all i haaaad!

and then i made a run for the shop before they closed, because i had 1 drop of vanilla extract. that little bottle is a nuisance. she’s made a mess all up in my cupboards. i guess she got tipsy and fell over and spewed her guts. that’s another story.  BUT OF COURSE the shop didn’t have extract… only essence.

i didn’t have google at that moment to tell me if it was okay, so i just assumed it would. later i found out that it is perfectly fine-but that essence is just man-made crap, while extract is the real deal. learned.

and then we get down to the optional extra semi-sweet chocolate chips.

i should just tell you right now that it is not optional.

you will be missing out on some major goodness if you skip that part.

only…

like this girl mentioned earlier, she didn’t have chocolate chips-and didn’t even THINK to pick up any while at the emergency store getting essence… SO…

she chopped up two snack sized mars bars.

(i went back and chopped these down the middle to make them into tiny tiny tiiiiny little squares.

oookay. now we are ready for our other stuff.

melt the butter and chocolate chips-fancy places will tell you to do it in a bowl, over a boiling pot of water.   …i put the butter in the microwave and then stirred in my ‘chocolate chips’ to melt.

once it has combined, add your sugar and cocoa powder.

stir stir.

next is your extract or essence…

and add one egg at a time, making sure to mix well before adding the next.

combine your flour and salt and shtirrr it all up.

don’t forget to add those not-optional chocolate pieces!

after you get it all mixed up, spray or butter your tin. 9 inch whatever. i used what i had. –a round 9 inch cake tin.

our lesson here today is IMPROVISE.

our other lesson is that it’s okay to lick the spoon, even though there are raw eggs in there. they are stirred in-so it doesn’t count.

bake in your (pre-heated) oven at 350F or 177C for thirty minutes.

survey the mess… and get your maid to clean it.

i had a kind bone in my body yesterday, so i decided to help her…

test it with a toothpick, if it comes out gooey, clean-and test one more spot.

i failed to do this.. and didn’t realise until after that i must have met one of those not-optional chocolate melty gooey devilish pieces.

i turned off the oven, and let the brownies sit in there for a bit.  then i took them out, and realised that i was a duped.

and then i popped those little brats out. (i used some parchment paper on the bottom of my tin. i recommend. it was amazing.)

let them cool, or, if you are like me…let them be hot-and cut them up.

NOW let them cool, because they won’t taste as good hot. i promise. they need some coolth so you can really taste the chocolate.

okay… so they don’t look like brownies. they look like cakownies. (do you see that melty oh-my-thighs bit there?  that’s the mars bar melted. it has CARAMEL. hallelujah!)

next time. i won’t bake them for so long.

and i will also beg you to spread some german chocolate cake frosting  all over the tops of these… oh. oh please.

i promise i will do that next time-i just found a really simple recipe for it. weeeeee!