taking charge of your fertility

oh this journey isn’t fun… but the reward makes it so worth it.

the things worth having are worth fighting for. the struggle only makes you appreciate it that much more. and. it’s all a journey-learning new things along the path.. perhaps meant to follow this, or guide, or find wisdom to be able to share with other souls… or just. for ourselves. to stop… take time.. to breathe and say ‘live in the present’  ‘embrace your journey’

so far i’ve been written off so many times- you’re young. you’ve got so many years. i’d be worried if you were 42 and had been trying for 15 years. blah blah blah. straight from the doctors mouth.

i should have asked ‘do you have kids?’

because the craving, the want… the need. the pain, and somehow-guilt that comes with the (in)fertility journey is, well… i don’t think its different at any age. sure- these women might have decided to start two years ago (or more) as well-only now they don’t have as much time to play with. but we’re all sisters with the same goal- so i’m not a fan of being cast aside because of my age.

what these people don’t realise is that being young and dealing with (in)fertility sets us on a different path from older women dealing with it…. while it is found to be more common or diagnosed in older women who have just decided to start trying for a family- younger girls that aren’t interested or at that place in their life… well that just means that we’re more alone…. i don’t have friends that are my age that are dealing with fertility issues. i don’t have friends who understand what it feels like to want a baby… friends my age don’t care about their fertility health right now*.  i am mostly alone-the only people to share similar stories, hope, and struggle through this are older women- who sometimes so very carelessly pass you off without realising it.

what i have learned so far is… to be patient. but not too patient.

to be your own health advocate. -to read what you can, understand what problems you may face. find out how you can help change what’s going on by simple dietary changes. start finding doctors-and if one is doom and gloom, get them out of your life!  i wish that health care practitioners could be trusted to know everything, i wish that their word could be solid gold. i wish that they could be on top and ready and eager to help every patient that walks through their door-but… i’ve found out that that is hard to come by. (if you have found them. keep them close)

get a second opinion. don’t be afraid to write down questions-print out articles that you have read about whats going on with you-and challenge the doctor. don’t let them pass you off and say ‘come back in six months’ no. what are you going to do for me right now? give me some hope. give me some light. tell me that this can happen. let me trust that you’ll take care of me.

create your community. join a support group in person or online, gather friends that you trust that will help light the way for you when it’s too dark. that will help keep you going. the more you reach out-the quicker you find out that you are not on this path alone. hands will come out to help you, send you wishes of love and luck. will tell you stories of their success and help you feel like you have made the right choice. with them, you know that anything is possible.

journal. for your soul, for your sanity. keep track of what is going on. emotion wise- physical wise. if a life style change is in need- the only way to help keep it up, unless you are superwoman with your will power- is to keep track of it by journalling your success and challenges.

be honest with yourself.

*being fertility wise doesn’t mean that you are seeking out to have a child. (it can just as easily be used for the opposite) i wish that more young women my age would start to understand that being aware of what is going on with their body-regardless of if they want to have children now, in the future, or never- this is about your health.  if it were your heart, you’d pay attention… so why not the one thing that is sacred, special, mysterious…complex. this one thing that makes you a woman. this one thing that can so easily change your life.

embrace your journey.

3 Comments

  1. debbie said . . .

    Yea You! You are wise beyond your years! I say a little prayer for you evert day–that his journey will not be a very long one and will be a very rewarding one. Steven & Erin + seven???

    Posted September 19, 2009 at 11:49 pm | Permalink
  2. craftgirl78 said . . .

    I am 30 and desperately want a baby. My problem is not fertility (about which I am not sure) but mobility; I have a serious knee problem and suffer from fibromyalgia, so I am not very agile. The doctors say I must be fit and healthy before I can try for a baby, I have to lose weight (which has only been gained since a knee operation) and be more active. I also wish that doctors would get together and actually try to help me, not just pass me on to the other one. I often feel like a tennis ball going between GP, Orthopaedics and Rheumatology…
    Do not lose hope though – and don’t let the bastards drag you down!

    Posted September 20, 2009 at 6:23 am | Permalink
  3. angel said . . .

    “be honest with yourself”…..very strong words from a very strong woman. i love each and every bit of you. you are sunshine to so many. I know you will be sunshine to a baby in time. I feel it so very much. until then, I am here for you always for any type of support and love you need. you are so very wonderful erin….I love you!

    Posted September 20, 2009 at 3:49 pm | Permalink

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