. we were sitting in the waiting room, and it was just one of those moments when you realise ‘oh yeah.. we’re parents now’. you’re there scrambling together to entertain your 10month-going-on-2-year-old. she’s yelling and babbling and crawling back and forth, wanting to be in your arms, wanting to see everything. scrambling in your bag to find a baggie of room temperature grapes to entice her with. walking up and down the halls… looking in the bathrooms to see if there is a changing table- of course not- change her there on the waiting bench instead. bounce and jiggle her heavy body on your hip. it’s only been 10 minutes… feels like it’s been an hour. and then you just realise it. like. woah.. you’re one of them now. no longer waiting in a waiting room quietly, sitting there, reading a magazine. next she’ll be running around getting into stuff, and i’ll be pulling other bits and bobs to try to entertain her with. asking her to be kind and gentle and not run wild, and use her inside voice.
. i recently got to cross another goal off of my list of things to do before my birthday- a picnic with my sweet friend cass and her babes. (she has the pictures on her camera, so i have to wait for her to get home from holiday’ing to see them)
we ate in the grass, let the babies crawl around and swing.. amélie had her toenails painted pink. i gave them ‘hooping lessons’. amélie tried on every pair of shoes i own (none of which are fancy) but make sufficient clippity-cloppity sounds on the floor for her. she drew and painted, and claire gave her best scowling faces.. (oh my!)
– cass and i met online, through flickr. it’s really quite amazing to connect with someone online and then.. just. go meet them! i first met up with her in cambridge with a few other flickr girlies. and then steven and i travelled to brussels and stayed with her. we both found out we were pregnant within a week of each other. (she encouraged me to take another pregnancy test, even though i had already taken a negative one). we BOTH have PCOS, and we gave birth within two weeks of each other. keeping each other entertained via text while in the hospital..
. i started looking through clothes to pack today. i have one gigantic suitcase…and.. a swimsuit. i think that’s really pretty much all i’ll be taking. swimsuit, some undies, and the clothes i wear on the plane. claire is in a similar situation with clothes not fitting.. er.. that is, wearing 24 mos. clothes- of which i have 1-2 items. poor girl, everything she’s been wearing recently is too small, left unbuttoned, or made to look like shorts when they’re really pants.. i’m packing her (2yo) swimsuit and… uh. the clothes she wears on the plane.
. i’m really hoping the person next to me is nice. or. not nice- in that they won’t say anything to me at all and might possibly never look at me, and just sleep the entire time. so i can have my boob out for 7 hours.
. i made a really amazing cheesecake yesterday. i tried being a domestic goddess.. starting the cheesecake early in the morning, as it took an hour to bake- and 6 hours to slowly cool in the oven (so as not to crack). well. pfft! it cracked. regardless of being positive to not over mix, to letting it cool super super slowly. it. cracked. but this morning it tastes so. freaking. amazing.
. inspiration that waxes and wanes. my mind swimming with ideas.. imagines.. inspiration. a series or two waiting to be born. long gone are those prolific painting nights.. staying up until the wee hours of the morning getting as many paintings out as time and muse would allow. needing to figure out how to harness the inspiration when i have it, and pull it out- like my own elixir. when i have the moment.
. ready to make my own medicine… i feel ready. i feel it calling. i think that perhaps the first tincture or essence will begin this summer. a way to harvest and hold onto that time. i’ll wait and see what calls to me while i’m there. excited for that.
la la la
pear cider and music and hooping.