Starving Artist Ink.

i’ve been doing a lot of ‘soul-searching‘ lately. (not really sure if that is the best term to use for whatever this is…)

seams coming unravelled just as i think i have them tied up well.

isn’t that part of letting go? letting frays unravel and go where they may- like unruly curls that i love so much.

i’m trying to find the right balance for myself. not put too much pressure on myself.  in my art, in my health, in every aspect of my life. before i build it all up, stacking it on top of the list of things to do, people to not disappoint, right ways and things to avoid… before i know it, i end up at the bottom with no visible way out.

oy vey.. because when it happens. my poor friends.. goodness, they are so good to me.

frustrated and ready to stop. give up. chop off my hair with kitchen shears. put things on hold. cry. eat chocolate. lie, so i don’t have to follow through.

but i have yummy friends, who listen to my crazies.

and instead i opened my eyes.. and put things into perspective. i decided not to rush my art ‘business’ into anything major- and just go with the flow, not worrying about other people- only myself.

i went to the salon and got my hair washed, coloured, and cut… and feel like a new woman.

i began a new cycle, and what felt like another failure when i looked in the mirror- i realised that it is time. and this is okay- and another chance.

but i still ate more chocolate. i deserve it.

–

i was inspired by miss kelly rae’s post from monday. i even wrote hers down in my journal. and while i thought i would just leave hers there- because they were so yummy, and thoughtful, and written so perfect. i thought it might be a good exercise for me, and you to try.

what do you really want?

i want to relax. and breathe. and notice.
i want to embrace my journey-all of them.
i want to listen.
i want to make memories, while appreciating the present.
i want to always be grateful.
i want to accept.

i think i’ll stop right there. i could elaborate on some that i have written, but i like them left open- to encompass all of my life, not just bits and pieces. i really love everything that kelly said- and have incorporated hers and mine together in my own smooooch to the universe.